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[Terminat] Love isn't simple [yaoi]

#67
am citit ficul si am ramas asa22
de ce?pai este al doilea fi yaoi pe care il citesc si mi-a placut mult:X dar ai avut si greseli>_<
(16-12-2008, 07:29 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Mama si tatal lor aveau mari pretentii de la copiii sai si tineau ce cred ca ai vrut sa ui "ca" deoarece asa suna mai bine5 acestia sa le calce pe urme si sa devina importanti oameni de afacere uitand de visele celor doi.

(16-12-2008, 07:29 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Pasi apoi pe hol catre iesirea din apartament, unde Ayaka il astepta usor infuriata. Au plecat apoi spre liceu,spacemergand pe drumul obisnuit pe care-l urmau in fiecare zi.

(16-12-2008, 07:29 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Era imbracat cu un hanorac maron cred ca maro>_> cu gluga crem, iar in jos purta o pereche de pantaloni negri destul de simpli dar care aratau foarte bine pe el

(16-12-2008, 07:29 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Acesta era considerat de argintiu doar cel mai bun prieten al sau, insa blondul tinea la el chair chiar mai mult si ar fi vrut nespus sa devina mai mult de atat, insa nu vroia sa strice o prietenie asa de frumoasa.

(16-12-2008, 07:29 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Dupa ca ce tanarul cu ochii albasti s-a indepartat destul de mult, Senji a inceput sa se planga colegului sau.

asta este tot ce am putu gasi :-p

descriere ai si imi place foarte mult:X
dialog...ai mai putea lucra la el daca vrei...restul este bine
imi place si cand voi mai avea timp voi citi si celelalte cap si iti voi lasa comentariu...
imi place foarte mult foicul tau , mai ales finalul24
ce pervers21
ja' si nu te lasa

Am citit si capitolul 2 si voi mai citi ca imi place mult ficul tau..
imi place cum descrii totul...sentimente si etc
pot zice ca te pricepi foarte bine , dar nu imi place dialogul...este cam sec>_>
greseli de tastare am vazut si ti le pun19
(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Au mai stat un timp unul in bratele celuilalt, pozitie ce-l facea pe Daisuke sa doreasca sa se culce din nou cu argintiul insa considera ce era de ajuns pentru prima data si s-a rezumat doar la cateva saruturi surte scurte in timp ce se juca cu parul lui Senji.


(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Argintiul era uda acum e si fata?22"ud" pana la piele de ploaia deasa care invelea orasul intr-un val umed ce inghitea tot ceea ce intalnea in cale.


(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: -Ti-a fost dor de mine? A intrebat brunetul cu un zambet seducator ca de fiecate fiecare data.


(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: -Iubire, nu-mi dai tu ordine, ne-am inteles? In plus acum am doua motive sa te pedepsesc: primul este faptul ca m-ai jihnit jignit>_< in curtea scolii dupa ce ai dat peste mine, iar al doilea pentru ca observ ca bei desi sti ca nu ai voie pana ce nu implinesti 18 ani.

(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Intradevar corpul lui Senji era cuprins de un tremurat involuntar care nu era provocat insa de teama, era un sentiment cidat ciudat care-l impiedica sa opreasca extazul ce incepea sa puna stapanire pe el.


(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Cei doi erau extenuati si ramasesera imbratisati pe canapea fara ca vreounul cred ca este vreunul106sa mai zica ceva.




(18-12-2008, 06:25 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: Cei doi erau extenuati si ramasesera imbratisati pe canapea fara ca vreounul cred ca este vreunul106sa mai zica ceva.

pai asta este tot ce am putut gasi in neregula la tine(la fic ma refer)
in rest mi-a placut:X
ce pervers este Daisuke24
nesimtitul...
pai cam atata ca nu stiu ce sa iti mai zic...voi citi in continuare si celelalte capitole care pun pariu ca vor fi minunate...nu minunate ci foarte minunate:X

:o:o
mi-a placut si acest capitol si voi citi in continuare deoarece daca ai zis ca in urmatorul va fi mai mult...si mai ales ca Senji se muta la Daisuke15...isi fac de cap4
greseli de tastare:
au fost mai putine ca in primul si al doilea cap15

(20-12-2008, 05:30 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: -Salut...Tu cine esti? a spua spus>_> fata uimita.

am observat ca tu esti genul de persoana care pune space dupa semnele de punctuatie , dar ai ratata cateva>_<
(20-12-2008, 05:30 PM)sweetangel_miwako A scris: „Sora?spaceDar cum? Nu se poate! Cum am putut fi atat de prost?spaceDin cauza geloziei i-am spus surorii sale ca fratele ei are un iubit se pune "." Acum sigur va avea probleme din cauza mea.

pai mai incearca cu dialogul..e putin cam sec :-p
nu uita sa mai pui si virgule dupa unele cuvinte>_<
descriere:ai si imi place mult cum descrii totul:X
imi place la nebunie ficul tau si nu ma las pana nu citesc toate cele 7 pagini pe care le ai pana acum...voi citi in fiecare seara cate un capitol ca vreau sa vad ce se intampla cu Senji
sunt fan al ficului tau:-p
aici se incheie postul
>_>
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Răspunsuri în acest subiect
[Terminat] Love isn't simple [yaoi] - de myuu - 16-12-2008, 07:29 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 18-12-2008, 06:25 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 20-12-2008, 05:30 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 21-12-2008, 09:49 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 21-12-2008, 10:39 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 24-12-2008, 03:30 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 25-12-2008, 08:52 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 28-12-2008, 07:42 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 06-01-2009, 09:38 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 09-01-2009, 09:15 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de YuuraBo - 10-01-2009, 11:04 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 10-01-2009, 11:38 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 13-01-2009, 05:35 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 13-01-2009, 09:50 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de YuuraBo - 13-01-2009, 10:19 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 13-01-2009, 10:30 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 14-01-2009, 10:41 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 15-01-2009, 09:09 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 15-01-2009, 11:32 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 18-01-2009, 08:40 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de YuuraBo - 18-01-2009, 10:00 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 18-01-2009, 11:50 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 19-01-2009, 04:49 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 23-01-2009, 10:01 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 23-01-2009, 11:17 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 24-01-2009, 10:41 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de YuuraBo - 24-01-2009, 05:33 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 27-01-2009, 08:53 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 28-01-2009, 01:13 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 29-01-2009, 03:21 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 31-01-2009, 01:22 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 03-02-2009, 06:53 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 03-02-2009, 07:48 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 03-02-2009, 09:56 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de ThorthKa - 05-02-2009, 10:04 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 07-02-2009, 08:58 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 08-02-2009, 03:40 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de ThorthKa - 08-02-2009, 02:14 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 15-02-2009, 05:10 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 15-02-2009, 06:44 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 28-02-2009, 11:12 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 01-03-2009, 02:09 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 09-03-2009, 09:18 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 09-03-2009, 10:56 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 10-03-2009, 01:22 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 15-03-2009, 09:48 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 15-03-2009, 10:40 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 16-03-2009, 01:25 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 23-03-2009, 09:36 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 24-03-2009, 12:11 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 24-03-2009, 09:36 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Ryuu - 25-03-2009, 10:32 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 01-04-2009, 10:49 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 01-04-2009, 11:26 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 05-04-2009, 10:46 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 05-04-2009, 11:46 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 06-04-2009, 05:36 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 10-04-2009, 10:59 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 10-04-2009, 11:05 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Luzer - 10-04-2009, 11:10 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 11-04-2009, 01:48 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Isis-Zeita iubirii - 11-04-2009, 03:02 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 14-04-2009, 04:05 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 14-04-2009, 05:00 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 21-04-2009, 09:22 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 22-04-2009, 09:16 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 26-04-2009, 03:02 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 27-04-2009, 07:57 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 28-04-2009, 09:01 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 28-04-2009, 09:43 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 21-05-2009, 05:36 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 23-05-2009, 11:52 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 09-06-2009, 11:45 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 10-06-2009, 01:02 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 17-06-2009, 09:32 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 18-06-2009, 02:04 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de myuu - 04-07-2009, 01:12 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Yaku-chin - 04-07-2009, 01:16 AM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de nolazy - 29-07-2009, 01:28 PM
RE: Love isn't simple by me (yaoi) - de Hetalia - 03-08-2009, 09:56 PM

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