Breakup Letter Generator

[Stormrage]

Dear Pieceofshit:

Storm is dead and shit. So you should probably just go on with your life and stuff. Everyone is sad and crying and all that bullshit, but don't get all broken up and shit, I mean it was just barely milions of years, if that long, you two went out. You should just forget about her and never talk about Storm to anyone because everyone is so torn up and shit that they are probably having that denial stuff and think she's still alive. But she aint because she's dead.

Storm just wanted to let you know that you were important to her and all that crap. Also, she wants you to get on with your life and just pretend like she's dead because she is. No reason to try and see her in the coffin or go to the funeral because she got cremated and crap. I think they scattered her ashes in the oceans and read some poetry bullshit about her being free and wanting you to be also.

Her estate though, does need all her stuff back that you have. It's in her will thing. So just go ahead and mail that back to the address you have for Storm. If you need some of your shit back just put a note in the box you use to mail their shit and we'll box up your crap and put it on your doorstop some day. All except your dvd of the 3rd season of Mad About You because she never fucking had it in the first place like she told you a million times. Plus she hates that Paul Riser cunt.

Sincelery,

The Estate Of Storm.

P.S. Enjoy the anal herpes.