A blissful nightmare
The night was creeping in closer and closer so we decided to go to bed. The dark embrace took us quickly and, before I knew it, I was already standing at the back door of her mind. I waited for a few seconds feeling anxious, then I realised that this was the first time I could explore her feelings and thoughts. I knew the door was unlocked for me, I just knew it, so, while taking a deep breath, I opened it and stepped inside of my beloved’s mind. I found myself in a corridor that stretched far into the dimly lit distance. On either side were doors, scores of doors, all of which were shut. A feeling of ecstasy began devouring my soul as my heart was pounding in an insane rhythm, overwhelmed by the complex darkness surrounding me.
Even though my mind was racing, even though I felt somewhat suffocated by her inner world, I was so happy. I began walking slowly down the dark path, with my hands caressing the walls while my lungs were inhaling and enjoying the sweet deadly scent of her mind. While passing by each door on the hallway, I felt the urge to open them, only to find myself insecure and frightened: “No! This is not it! ”. This pattern repeated itself until, at one point, I felt a powerful pull towards a certain door. In the heat of the moment, I opened it, and, as Pandora once did, I unleashed a tide of pain and sorrow… .
I felt a cold, mortifying embrace dragging me inside and my entire body went numb. Screams, maniacal laughter and whispers of death were filling the air around me, echoing in my mind. Suddenly, it all came to a stop… an ominous silence crept into the room and stole every possible sound, leaving me alone. Then, as I was preparing to leave, I found myself unable to move, and, through my ears went piercing: “Do you know what pain is? “. This left me stricken, as that voice…that seductive and so poisoned voice was the voice of my angel, the voice of Maria herself. As I was still trying to comprehend, my mind went blank and images came rushing in: images not of my own, nor of the Maria I knew, but images of horror, of a devastated young girl, standing on her bed with her eyes encircled in black, with pure pain falling down her cheeks, sobbing in silence… . Then, the scenery changed and I saw her running down an empty corridor, with no pain on her sweet face, only with a hideous smile, a smile of utter insanity. While she was swiftly running, with her dress unbuttoned and with her autumn hair falling down her golden shoulders, I saw crimson…the agent of death…I saw blood on her hands and her smile was clearly talking to me: “Look! Look, I finally did it! ”. As I tried to grab her tainted hands and ask her about what she has done, the image shattered before me and I was blown back in the same corridor.
Instead of feeling scared and sick, I was actually eager to find out more so I gathered my strength and went searching for another door, while voices were still haunting my head: “kill!”, “run!”, “NO! ”. There was something odd in the whole story, because I knew for sure that Maria was not a criminal, yet, what on earth were those things I saw? While struggling with reality and inner fantasies, I realised that I was standing between two doors, both had numbers, more exactly, both carried the number “12”. My hand reached for the one on the left and I entered a small room. On the floor there were shattered dolls, ripped dresses and the whole place seemed as “Alice in Wonderland” was filmed there. In front of a broken mirror I cast my eyes on a broken soul. It was Maria as a child! I knew that for sure and she was talking to herself, in a low, mad voice: “Why did Daddy go? And why did Mommy bring me another dad…I WANT DADDY BACK!”. Those last words came as a horrid scream and I stepped back only to realise I was already outside the room. I then opened the other room and came upon a disgusting scenery: on a bed, with her clothes torn apart, with her face covered in tears…was Maria, my love, and in a corner, with a grin on his face was a monster, the man Maria’s mother decided to marry after her first husband passed away. With overflowing rage I leaped over the room and tried to hit him in the face, to erase that sickening grin, yet, I was thrown back into the corridor.
Dumbfounded, I kept walking with my fists clenched and with only one phrase in my mind: “Do you know what pain is?”. Yes, Maria, my sweet child, now I know your pain so well and I’ll do my best to take it away from you.
While rage and love were entwining in my soul, I finally realised the end of the corridor was in my sight. Deciding I should leave, I began walking towards the front door, when, the same cold feeling entangled my entire being and a psychotic laughter broke the silence. A door opened and I witnessed Maria hitting her own image, smashing the glass of a huge mirror. “I hate you! Everyone hates you! You should just…HAHAHA! Why don’t I have the courage to do it?! ” – while shouting out her despair, she ripped a shard of glass and pointed it at her silky neck. “Since you all hate me why the hell won’t you kill me? Oh, is it funny to cast your hatred on me? Yes, I see…AHAHAHA! I am…a toy…a broken doll for your sick twisted perversions.” – and tears were falling. With a wide swing, she created some distance between the shard of glass and herself. While she was thrusting it for a final blow, I finally broke free of my invisible chains and shouted “I do NOT hate you, Maria! I LOVE you!”.
The shard dropped, her body turned crippled and she smiled while falling on her knees. “Can you teach me love? Can you help me forget pain, rage and sorrow?” I nodded and she vanished before my drowned eyes.
With a feeling of relief I raised my head and realised that light, pure and warm light was now flooding the corridor. Reaching for the exit door, I looked to my left there was a door entitled “PAST”, then I looked to my right and I saw “FUTURE”. Ignoring both, I stepped through the exit door which took me to OUR PRESENT. I opened my eyes. The sun was shy, hiding behind the hills. Maria was sleeping calmly, for the first time in years maybe. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. “My lovely angel. ” – I softly whispered. She was indeed an angel that was cast down on earth to suffer our insanity and become insane herself, but now it was all over. The sun is about to shine for her and I will be there to make sure of it, consuming her madness, taking away her pain, her taste for revenge, her nightmares.
The night was creeping in closer and closer so we decided to go to bed. The dark embrace took us quickly and, before I knew it, I was already standing at the back door of her mind. I waited for a few seconds feeling anxious, then I realised that this was the first time I could explore her feelings and thoughts. I knew the door was unlocked for me, I just knew it, so, while taking a deep breath, I opened it and stepped inside of my beloved’s mind. I found myself in a corridor that stretched far into the dimly lit distance. On either side were doors, scores of doors, all of which were shut. A feeling of ecstasy began devouring my soul as my heart was pounding in an insane rhythm, overwhelmed by the complex darkness surrounding me.
Even though my mind was racing, even though I felt somewhat suffocated by her inner world, I was so happy. I began walking slowly down the dark path, with my hands caressing the walls while my lungs were inhaling and enjoying the sweet deadly scent of her mind. While passing by each door on the hallway, I felt the urge to open them, only to find myself insecure and frightened: “No! This is not it! ”. This pattern repeated itself until, at one point, I felt a powerful pull towards a certain door. In the heat of the moment, I opened it, and, as Pandora once did, I unleashed a tide of pain and sorrow… .
I felt a cold, mortifying embrace dragging me inside and my entire body went numb. Screams, maniacal laughter and whispers of death were filling the air around me, echoing in my mind. Suddenly, it all came to a stop… an ominous silence crept into the room and stole every possible sound, leaving me alone. Then, as I was preparing to leave, I found myself unable to move, and, through my ears went piercing: “Do you know what pain is? “. This left me stricken, as that voice…that seductive and so poisoned voice was the voice of my angel, the voice of Maria herself. As I was still trying to comprehend, my mind went blank and images came rushing in: images not of my own, nor of the Maria I knew, but images of horror, of a devastated young girl, standing on her bed with her eyes encircled in black, with pure pain falling down her cheeks, sobbing in silence… . Then, the scenery changed and I saw her running down an empty corridor, with no pain on her sweet face, only with a hideous smile, a smile of utter insanity. While she was swiftly running, with her dress unbuttoned and with her autumn hair falling down her golden shoulders, I saw crimson…the agent of death…I saw blood on her hands and her smile was clearly talking to me: “Look! Look, I finally did it! ”. As I tried to grab her tainted hands and ask her about what she has done, the image shattered before me and I was blown back in the same corridor.
Instead of feeling scared and sick, I was actually eager to find out more so I gathered my strength and went searching for another door, while voices were still haunting my head: “kill!”, “run!”, “NO! ”. There was something odd in the whole story, because I knew for sure that Maria was not a criminal, yet, what on earth were those things I saw? While struggling with reality and inner fantasies, I realised that I was standing between two doors, both had numbers, more exactly, both carried the number “12”. My hand reached for the one on the left and I entered a small room. On the floor there were shattered dolls, ripped dresses and the whole place seemed as “Alice in Wonderland” was filmed there. In front of a broken mirror I cast my eyes on a broken soul. It was Maria as a child! I knew that for sure and she was talking to herself, in a low, mad voice: “Why did Daddy go? And why did Mommy bring me another dad…I WANT DADDY BACK!”. Those last words came as a horrid scream and I stepped back only to realise I was already outside the room. I then opened the other room and came upon a disgusting scenery: on a bed, with her clothes torn apart, with her face covered in tears…was Maria, my love, and in a corner, with a grin on his face was a monster, the man Maria’s mother decided to marry after her first husband passed away. With overflowing rage I leaped over the room and tried to hit him in the face, to erase that sickening grin, yet, I was thrown back into the corridor.
Dumbfounded, I kept walking with my fists clenched and with only one phrase in my mind: “Do you know what pain is?”. Yes, Maria, my sweet child, now I know your pain so well and I’ll do my best to take it away from you.
While rage and love were entwining in my soul, I finally realised the end of the corridor was in my sight. Deciding I should leave, I began walking towards the front door, when, the same cold feeling entangled my entire being and a psychotic laughter broke the silence. A door opened and I witnessed Maria hitting her own image, smashing the glass of a huge mirror. “I hate you! Everyone hates you! You should just…HAHAHA! Why don’t I have the courage to do it?! ” – while shouting out her despair, she ripped a shard of glass and pointed it at her silky neck. “Since you all hate me why the hell won’t you kill me? Oh, is it funny to cast your hatred on me? Yes, I see…AHAHAHA! I am…a toy…a broken doll for your sick twisted perversions.” – and tears were falling. With a wide swing, she created some distance between the shard of glass and herself. While she was thrusting it for a final blow, I finally broke free of my invisible chains and shouted “I do NOT hate you, Maria! I LOVE you!”.
The shard dropped, her body turned crippled and she smiled while falling on her knees. “Can you teach me love? Can you help me forget pain, rage and sorrow?” I nodded and she vanished before my drowned eyes.
With a feeling of relief I raised my head and realised that light, pure and warm light was now flooding the corridor. Reaching for the exit door, I looked to my left there was a door entitled “PAST”, then I looked to my right and I saw “FUTURE”. Ignoring both, I stepped through the exit door which took me to OUR PRESENT. I opened my eyes. The sun was shy, hiding behind the hills. Maria was sleeping calmly, for the first time in years maybe. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. “My lovely angel. ” – I softly whispered. She was indeed an angel that was cast down on earth to suffer our insanity and become insane herself, but now it was all over. The sun is about to shine for her and I will be there to make sure of it, consuming her madness, taking away her pain, her taste for revenge, her nightmares.