Leaving paradisse I: Madrid

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[Naruto] Leaving paradisse I: Madrid

DiamondZ Deconectat

Deconectat

??!!

Răspunsuri: 42
Subiecte: 3
Data înregistrării: May 2011
Reputație: 3
Zupi: 150 z

#11

14-06-2011, 11:16 PM

Buna!Ti-am citit ficul bine cele 3 capitole si vreau sa iti spun ca imi place foarte mult,mai ales imi place ca ai facut-o pe Hinata bad girl.
Si acum...Descrierea este,dar se putea si mai bine,adica puteai sa descri mai intes sentimentele personajelor,sa le accentuezi mai mult,astefl incat sa iasa in evidenta.
Naratiunea este buna,imi place cum povestesti.
Actiunea este putin grabita,dar e bine.Greseli de tastare sunt,dar cred ca oricine are.
Astept sa pui nextu si te rog mult sa ma anunti.
Spor la scris!!Byee!!

...Kiss me...
...Love me...
...Suck me...

[Imagine: eb1f934drag_var05.jpg]

[Imagine: eb1f934drag_var05.jpg]

http://light.sunphoto.ro/photos/thumb/Q/...SKOZCL.jpg

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Răspunsuri în acest subiect

Leaving paradisse I: Madrid - de ^Ciresica^ - 16-05-2011, 10:05 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 16-05-2011, 10:31 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miranda. - 22-05-2011, 03:42 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miky sweetie :3 - 26-05-2011, 10:55 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 27-05-2011, 08:33 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 27-05-2011, 09:14 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Maria - 27-05-2011, 07:42 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 10-06-2011, 11:03 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 12-06-2011, 01:44 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Maria - 12-06-2011, 07:54 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de DiamondZ - 14-06-2011, 11:16 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miky sweetie :3 - 18-06-2011, 09:44 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 18-06-2011, 10:45 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de DiamondZ - 18-06-2011, 10:55 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Zuzy Is Angell - 27-06-2011, 12:19 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miranda. - 28-06-2011, 11:35 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 29-06-2011, 11:12 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 30-06-2011, 08:53 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ~*Fallen* ~* Angel*~ - 30-06-2011, 09:28 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 30-06-2011, 09:51 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 30-06-2011, 09:54 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miranda. - 02-07-2011, 11:07 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Piersicuta - 12-07-2011, 06:43 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miky sweetie :3 - 21-07-2011, 12:02 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Piersicuta - 21-07-2011, 12:55 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 21-07-2011, 02:22 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de DiamondZ - 21-07-2011, 04:10 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 21-07-2011, 05:22 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ~*Fallen* ~* Angel*~ - 21-07-2011, 11:57 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 15-08-2011, 03:59 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 15-08-2011, 06:41 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Piersicuta - 15-08-2011, 07:02 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 16-08-2011, 02:31 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ~*Fallen* ~* Angel*~ - 22-08-2011, 02:31 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de DiamondZ - 28-08-2011, 05:05 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de dot dot curve :) - 03-09-2011, 08:55 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miky sweetie :3 - 10-09-2011, 10:25 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Piersicuta - 10-09-2011, 10:55 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 10-09-2011, 11:21 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 13-09-2011, 04:57 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Miranda. - 17-09-2011, 03:36 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de dot dot curve :) - 23-09-2011, 07:13 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Ayumi Michaelis - 24-09-2011, 09:02 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 06-11-2011, 06:42 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Rose ^^ - 06-11-2011, 10:10 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Piersicuta - 06-11-2011, 10:31 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Ayumi Michaelis - 11-11-2011, 12:41 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de ~*Fallen* ~* Angel*~ - 13-11-2011, 01:26 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [Sasusaku +18] - de Sho-Yo - 03-12-2011, 08:51 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Miky sweetie :3 - 18-12-2011, 10:49 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Ayumi Michaelis - 19-12-2011, 12:23 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Miranda. - 19-12-2011, 12:43 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Savarina Ali - 19-12-2011, 08:25 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Sho-Yo - 19-12-2011, 11:05 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Me_Samy - 20-12-2011, 11:56 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid [naruto][ +18] - de Piersicuta - 30-12-2011, 01:58 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid - de ^Ciresica^ - 29-07-2012, 09:33 AM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid - de Ayumi Michaelis - 30-07-2012, 04:46 PM

RE: Leaving paradisse I: Madrid - de RalucaGabor - 14-08-2012, 09:01 PM

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