Nu cititi! primul capitol de urmatorul.L-am rescris!
deci este prima mea poveste in engleza asa ca doresc critici constructive. este o poveste de dragoste cu multa fantezie, dar nu de aceea la care va ganditi. personajele sunt 100% umane.
`Am I not good enough for you? Aren`t my tears that are coming from deep within my heart enough for you to believe me when I tell you that you are hurting me? Tell me why can`t you believe the truth, the only truth that I tell you? Why can`t you love me?`
Every night I write these words and every night I erase them and try to sleep, but can`t and when the sleep doesn`t come I just end up at the laptop and write these words again and erase them again. Is a continuous circle from wich I can`t escape. I guess you are wondering what I`m talking about, nothing new under the blue sky, but let me explain. Those words are for someone special, someoane dear but I can`t tell her that because she has a boyfriend, they are in love with each other or maybe she is the only one who`s giving love. I can`t tell the same thing about him, didn`t even met the guy... but you know, there is something strange about her. She once said to me that her and him were meant to be together, that their love has survived for decades only to be revived in this era, but how can something like this be? I mean, come on, something like love at first sight doesn`t exist or maybe it does exist?. I guess that she is still in the state of teenage love even though she has twenty one years but if she is still in that faze, in wich faze am I? I loved her from the first moment that my eyes had set on her beautiful face, she was at the airport, saying good-bye to her boyfriend. She doesn`t remember, because her eyes didn`t leave a second his face, but I saw her, even though a bunch of girls were screaming and wanted my autograph.
I think to much.
I better go to sleep, it is late and I really need some rest. I`ll talk about this some
other time.
**********************************************************
Beep, beep, beep.
`Oh! Shut up already!` I yell hitting the clock who was trying to wake me.
I turn on my other side, trying to go back to my sweet dream where all was so perfect but after a couple of mintes I get up frustrated. It is only ten pas six in the morning, so early.
I so hate this bedroom, even though this room is decorated like I want. The walls are painted in a dark blue and the ceiling it was made to look just like the night sky. I have my moments, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. Now I hate the way the dark wood doors that lead to the closet look and hate these blue sheets that are made from silk. And then my eyes, my dark blue sometimes royal blue eyes stop on the silver laptop and I see those cursed few lines of words.
Haven`t I erased them last night? I can`t remember.
At the sight of those lines I feel the most excrutiating pain that I ever felt. The moonlight stops the cruelty of reality to hurt me, but when the suns rays appear the veil that was protecting me disappers and every thing hurts. If I had to put a name on this feeling then one word isn`t enough, it is like loneliness, sadness, depression hit me in the same moment and I feel like I`m standing on the edge of a pitt of nothing, I stare into a black nothing when I hear the phone ring and wakes me.
`Hello?` I ask still thinking about that pit in wich I almost fell.
`Hey man! What are you doing? Have you forgot yet again that you are suppose to met me and Jason?` say`s my best friend, Mat.
Mat is a twenty two year old boy, very tall, not very smart but he`s a very good friend with short black hair that he always takes care of like his life depends on the way it looks, big black eyes with high cheekbones and a very imposing chin. He looks like a roman soldier and I always make fun of the hard lines of his face, but he doesn`t mind, he even laughs about is too. Still, even though he is one of my best friend, I haven`t told him about my infatuation with her. I mean, what can I tell him? Mat, you know, I`m deeply in love with Ablase, I would give my life just to see her happy. He`ll say that I lost it and maybe I have, but that doesn`t change my feelings for her.
`Trying to sleep, I think. But it seems that you and my clock are in some kind of coalition named: „Do not let Seya sleep.â€. I swear one of these days I`ll sue you and my clock beacause the two of you deprive me of my sleep` I tell him with a groampy voice.
`Like I never heard that before and by the way, you are aware that you said you`re gonna sue your clock?`
`Shut you mouth and get to the point already` I yell in the phone hopeing he`ll go deaf for a couple of seconds.
`Okay, okay, you don`t have to scream. Damn man, you almost sound like a girl. Anyway, get your lazy rear out of bed and met me and Jason at our spot. Understand?`
`Yeah, yeah...`I want to continue but I hear the other line close so I stop.
There is no point in talking to myself so I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I take a quick look at my reflection and decide that a little water will do to make my hair look a little less messier and a little decent. I have short black hair with a long ponytail at the back but where I have short hair it is imposible to try to comb it. Many people think that my hairstyle is weird, but that is what I like about it. Then I take a quick shower, brush my teeth and then I go to put something on me because I`m in no mood to be the „big shoot†on campus I don`t care what I grab so I end up with a pair of wide dark blue jeans and a tight blue sleveless shirt and out the door I go.
When I attempt to leave through the door the chain that is hooked to my pants gets tangled in the doorknob. In that moment I remember that the pants are not exactly clean but I don`t have time to go back and change. Damn, I have to be more carefull about these kind of things, even though I don`t care much about my appearence I don`t want to wear filthy clothes.
I live in an apartment in a quiet neighborhood on the tenth floor and it takes me about ten minutes to get down because the fucking elevator is broken so when I get to my friends it is already half past seven and they are very impatient and angry.
`Hey!` I say.
`What is wrong with you?` yells Jason.
`I called you man! Where were you?` asks Mat while he get`s up.
`Yeah, well...` I try to tell them but Jason interups me.
`You were day-dreaming again. We know.`
`Here comes trouble.` whispers Mat hitting Jason in the arm.
And indeed trouble comes in the room. It looks just like a girl with two heads shorter than me, long golden-brown hair, beautiful green eyes, long lashes and a pair of lips very atractive. Her neck is just like a swan`s, her breasts are not to big but not smal either and she has a waist like a wasps and long straight legs. She is wearing a beautiful short blue with white flowers dress and is breathtaking. She looks exactly like she looked in that day on the airport, so beautiful, so charming, so happy. She isn`t frowning and a smile is embellishing her features. I bet that she got news from her boyfriend, only when she talkes to him she is like this and I hate it. I hate the fact that only him can make her smile, make that unique smile appear on her face. But of course, Mat isn`t talking about her, by the way her name is Ablase, he is talking about her friend, Rhoslyn who is a short girl with brown little puppy eyes and big mouth, very big mouth. Oh, how I hate that girl but Jason has a crush on her so I guess she can`t be that bad...
`Hello! What are you three up to?` screams Rhoslyn.
Have I forgot to tell you that she is very loud? I tell you now. She`s loud like an ambulance siren or a police one. I really can`t tell, I try to keep my hearing while being in her proximity.
`Good-morning! Says Ablase when she comes close to us.
She is so gentle, so fragile... she always talks so soft like she is afraid to distrub someone. Sometimes I wonder how can people hear what she says especially when Rhoslyn „The Siren†is always with her.
Jason goes to Rhoslyn to hug her but she doesn`t let him. Rhoslyn doesn`t really likes Jason but he is so blind by his „love†for her to see the reality. We, as good friends, try to open his eyes. No succesc in this matter. He still hope`s that some of this days she`ll come around and see that he is hers soul mate. Jaon is such a hopeless romantic wich isn`t that bad, unless you met someone who hates romance, believe me they exist, in this case that persone will be Rhoslyn wich is a conniving, money hunter little bitch. I really think that she only talkes to us beacause we have money and I`m a known singer. I`ve seen her many times ignoring lots of good people just because they weren`t in out league. She is like the queen bitch around here, everyone loves to hate her. I mean, they love her when she is around, but when her back is turned they all talk about her, not about good things I assure you. Right now Rhoslyn is totally ignoring Jason and is rubbing against my shoulder.
`What do you want?` I ask her looking down to see her eyes in a not so polite tone but not impolite either.
`Don`t be so malicious! I just have a tiny favour to ask of you.` she says winking at me, trying to be friendly but she is scary.
`No. I have to go to class. See ya`! come on, Ablase. We`re gonna be late!` I tell them and grab Ablase`s hand.
Mat is smiling, trying very hard not to burst into laught while Rhoslyn is getting redder by the second. I really believe that she doesn`t comprehend what has happened, not many people says no to Rhoslyn Lawson, the only daughter of the most famous lawyer in town, so when it happens she gets very furious. I`m sorry that I let that nuclear bomb with Mat and Jason but I got to get to class, anyway I`ll make it up.
In this moment I really don`t care. I`m a bad friend but how can`t I be when she is here with me, holding my hand and beacause of her closeness I faze out.
I see her in front of me standing on ther knee in the mud that defiles her long crinoline. She is wearing a red corset that is makeing her waist even more thin and highlights her breasts with long splay sleeves and blood red silk skirt. She looks good, even though red doesn`t suit her, but in this moment she looks awful because she has red eyes due to crying. That no good fiance made her cry again! That makes me angry, angry enough that I`ll go and challenge him on a duel. If only I had met her first, if only she hadn`t been engaged to that piece of shit when I had met her. I wouldn`t have let a single drop of tear fall from her eyes, I wouldn`t have had the heart to bring sadness to her features. How could I have made this angel so sad?
I want to tell her all this things so I fall down in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders and wait for her to rise her eyes, to look into my blue one`s. I wait for her eyes to met mine to tell her all the things that had crossed my mind all those lonely nights when I stayed awake thinking of nothing but hernevertheless that isn`t what escapes my mouth.
`Am I not good enough?` I hear myself asking her.
She only says his name hurting me even more but I swear that I`ll be by her side always, no matter the pain that she`ll cause me. I`ll be there for her wipeing her tears and trying to put a smile on her face.
deci este prima mea poveste in engleza asa ca doresc critici constructive. este o poveste de dragoste cu multa fantezie, dar nu de aceea la care va ganditi. personajele sunt 100% umane.
Am I not good enough?
`Am I not good enough for you? Aren`t my tears that are coming from deep within my heart enough for you to believe me when I tell you that you are hurting me? Tell me why can`t you believe the truth, the only truth that I tell you? Why can`t you love me?`
Every night I write these words and every night I erase them and try to sleep, but can`t and when the sleep doesn`t come I just end up at the laptop and write these words again and erase them again. Is a continuous circle from wich I can`t escape. I guess you are wondering what I`m talking about, nothing new under the blue sky, but let me explain. Those words are for someone special, someoane dear but I can`t tell her that because she has a boyfriend, they are in love with each other or maybe she is the only one who`s giving love. I can`t tell the same thing about him, didn`t even met the guy... but you know, there is something strange about her. She once said to me that her and him were meant to be together, that their love has survived for decades only to be revived in this era, but how can something like this be? I mean, come on, something like love at first sight doesn`t exist or maybe it does exist?. I guess that she is still in the state of teenage love even though she has twenty one years but if she is still in that faze, in wich faze am I? I loved her from the first moment that my eyes had set on her beautiful face, she was at the airport, saying good-bye to her boyfriend. She doesn`t remember, because her eyes didn`t leave a second his face, but I saw her, even though a bunch of girls were screaming and wanted my autograph.
I think to much.
I better go to sleep, it is late and I really need some rest. I`ll talk about this some
other time.
**********************************************************
Beep, beep, beep.
`Oh! Shut up already!` I yell hitting the clock who was trying to wake me.
I turn on my other side, trying to go back to my sweet dream where all was so perfect but after a couple of mintes I get up frustrated. It is only ten pas six in the morning, so early.
I so hate this bedroom, even though this room is decorated like I want. The walls are painted in a dark blue and the ceiling it was made to look just like the night sky. I have my moments, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. Now I hate the way the dark wood doors that lead to the closet look and hate these blue sheets that are made from silk. And then my eyes, my dark blue sometimes royal blue eyes stop on the silver laptop and I see those cursed few lines of words.
Haven`t I erased them last night? I can`t remember.
At the sight of those lines I feel the most excrutiating pain that I ever felt. The moonlight stops the cruelty of reality to hurt me, but when the suns rays appear the veil that was protecting me disappers and every thing hurts. If I had to put a name on this feeling then one word isn`t enough, it is like loneliness, sadness, depression hit me in the same moment and I feel like I`m standing on the edge of a pitt of nothing, I stare into a black nothing when I hear the phone ring and wakes me.
`Hello?` I ask still thinking about that pit in wich I almost fell.
`Hey man! What are you doing? Have you forgot yet again that you are suppose to met me and Jason?` say`s my best friend, Mat.
Mat is a twenty two year old boy, very tall, not very smart but he`s a very good friend with short black hair that he always takes care of like his life depends on the way it looks, big black eyes with high cheekbones and a very imposing chin. He looks like a roman soldier and I always make fun of the hard lines of his face, but he doesn`t mind, he even laughs about is too. Still, even though he is one of my best friend, I haven`t told him about my infatuation with her. I mean, what can I tell him? Mat, you know, I`m deeply in love with Ablase, I would give my life just to see her happy. He`ll say that I lost it and maybe I have, but that doesn`t change my feelings for her.
`Trying to sleep, I think. But it seems that you and my clock are in some kind of coalition named: „Do not let Seya sleep.â€. I swear one of these days I`ll sue you and my clock beacause the two of you deprive me of my sleep` I tell him with a groampy voice.
`Like I never heard that before and by the way, you are aware that you said you`re gonna sue your clock?`
`Shut you mouth and get to the point already` I yell in the phone hopeing he`ll go deaf for a couple of seconds.
`Okay, okay, you don`t have to scream. Damn man, you almost sound like a girl. Anyway, get your lazy rear out of bed and met me and Jason at our spot. Understand?`
`Yeah, yeah...`I want to continue but I hear the other line close so I stop.
There is no point in talking to myself so I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I take a quick look at my reflection and decide that a little water will do to make my hair look a little less messier and a little decent. I have short black hair with a long ponytail at the back but where I have short hair it is imposible to try to comb it. Many people think that my hairstyle is weird, but that is what I like about it. Then I take a quick shower, brush my teeth and then I go to put something on me because I`m in no mood to be the „big shoot†on campus I don`t care what I grab so I end up with a pair of wide dark blue jeans and a tight blue sleveless shirt and out the door I go.
When I attempt to leave through the door the chain that is hooked to my pants gets tangled in the doorknob. In that moment I remember that the pants are not exactly clean but I don`t have time to go back and change. Damn, I have to be more carefull about these kind of things, even though I don`t care much about my appearence I don`t want to wear filthy clothes.
I live in an apartment in a quiet neighborhood on the tenth floor and it takes me about ten minutes to get down because the fucking elevator is broken so when I get to my friends it is already half past seven and they are very impatient and angry.
`Hey!` I say.
`What is wrong with you?` yells Jason.
`I called you man! Where were you?` asks Mat while he get`s up.
`Yeah, well...` I try to tell them but Jason interups me.
`You were day-dreaming again. We know.`
`Here comes trouble.` whispers Mat hitting Jason in the arm.
And indeed trouble comes in the room. It looks just like a girl with two heads shorter than me, long golden-brown hair, beautiful green eyes, long lashes and a pair of lips very atractive. Her neck is just like a swan`s, her breasts are not to big but not smal either and she has a waist like a wasps and long straight legs. She is wearing a beautiful short blue with white flowers dress and is breathtaking. She looks exactly like she looked in that day on the airport, so beautiful, so charming, so happy. She isn`t frowning and a smile is embellishing her features. I bet that she got news from her boyfriend, only when she talkes to him she is like this and I hate it. I hate the fact that only him can make her smile, make that unique smile appear on her face. But of course, Mat isn`t talking about her, by the way her name is Ablase, he is talking about her friend, Rhoslyn who is a short girl with brown little puppy eyes and big mouth, very big mouth. Oh, how I hate that girl but Jason has a crush on her so I guess she can`t be that bad...
`Hello! What are you three up to?` screams Rhoslyn.
Have I forgot to tell you that she is very loud? I tell you now. She`s loud like an ambulance siren or a police one. I really can`t tell, I try to keep my hearing while being in her proximity.
`Good-morning! Says Ablase when she comes close to us.
She is so gentle, so fragile... she always talks so soft like she is afraid to distrub someone. Sometimes I wonder how can people hear what she says especially when Rhoslyn „The Siren†is always with her.
Jason goes to Rhoslyn to hug her but she doesn`t let him. Rhoslyn doesn`t really likes Jason but he is so blind by his „love†for her to see the reality. We, as good friends, try to open his eyes. No succesc in this matter. He still hope`s that some of this days she`ll come around and see that he is hers soul mate. Jaon is such a hopeless romantic wich isn`t that bad, unless you met someone who hates romance, believe me they exist, in this case that persone will be Rhoslyn wich is a conniving, money hunter little bitch. I really think that she only talkes to us beacause we have money and I`m a known singer. I`ve seen her many times ignoring lots of good people just because they weren`t in out league. She is like the queen bitch around here, everyone loves to hate her. I mean, they love her when she is around, but when her back is turned they all talk about her, not about good things I assure you. Right now Rhoslyn is totally ignoring Jason and is rubbing against my shoulder.
`What do you want?` I ask her looking down to see her eyes in a not so polite tone but not impolite either.
`Don`t be so malicious! I just have a tiny favour to ask of you.` she says winking at me, trying to be friendly but she is scary.
`No. I have to go to class. See ya`! come on, Ablase. We`re gonna be late!` I tell them and grab Ablase`s hand.
Mat is smiling, trying very hard not to burst into laught while Rhoslyn is getting redder by the second. I really believe that she doesn`t comprehend what has happened, not many people says no to Rhoslyn Lawson, the only daughter of the most famous lawyer in town, so when it happens she gets very furious. I`m sorry that I let that nuclear bomb with Mat and Jason but I got to get to class, anyway I`ll make it up.
In this moment I really don`t care. I`m a bad friend but how can`t I be when she is here with me, holding my hand and beacause of her closeness I faze out.
I see her in front of me standing on ther knee in the mud that defiles her long crinoline. She is wearing a red corset that is makeing her waist even more thin and highlights her breasts with long splay sleeves and blood red silk skirt. She looks good, even though red doesn`t suit her, but in this moment she looks awful because she has red eyes due to crying. That no good fiance made her cry again! That makes me angry, angry enough that I`ll go and challenge him on a duel. If only I had met her first, if only she hadn`t been engaged to that piece of shit when I had met her. I wouldn`t have let a single drop of tear fall from her eyes, I wouldn`t have had the heart to bring sadness to her features. How could I have made this angel so sad?
I want to tell her all this things so I fall down in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders and wait for her to rise her eyes, to look into my blue one`s. I wait for her eyes to met mine to tell her all the things that had crossed my mind all those lonely nights when I stayed awake thinking of nothing but hernevertheless that isn`t what escapes my mouth.
`Am I not good enough?` I hear myself asking her.
She only says his name hurting me even more but I swear that I`ll be by her side always, no matter the pain that she`ll cause me. I`ll be there for her wipeing her tears and trying to put a smile on her face.
![[Imagine: 87201674.png]](http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8881/87201674.png)