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Game Review: Singularity

[center][Imagine: Singularity_cover.jpg][/center]

A bit tongue in cheek. Enjoy.

So this game walked into a pub one day. It pulled up a chair, sat down in the furthest corner of the room, and browsed with little hurry the menu. They only served things chilled, with lots of alcohol; no patron would walk out of there without a few mistakes made. After a few short minutes the waiter had posted itself next to the table, wearing an expression of very bored obedience.
"One bottle of your Number 7, with two glasses please." the game ordered and gave back the menu. Until the drink arrived it sat quietly at the table, drumming its fingers on the hard wood surface, looking around the room, at the entrance more precisely, with a thinly veiled anxiousness.
The bottle came, with two tall glasses. Night was falling, and the lights were dimmed inside, as the waiter passed from table to table lighting candles.

After the first glass of Number 7 the evening dress didn't quite seem as tight and unpleasant, nor did the idea of the blind date. As it sipped slowly on the second glass, studying the shadow play all around, a figure sat down on the opposite chair, giving it quite a start at first.
"Hi! I'm Bioshock. Recognized you from your screenshots." it introduced itself with much confidence, offering a hand across the table.
"Oh, hey there. I hope you don't mind, I've already ordered. Been here a while." it answered, smiling at the tightly dressed and presented date. "Forgive my manners! I'm Half Life 2", it offered a hand that Bishock gently took and kissed.
"Charmed, I am."
They toasted to one another, and what seemed to be an upgoing date, in a very intimate place.
"You know, I really liked that thing you did with the Gravity Gun. Especially that ending, wow! I mean really, I don't think anyone would've expected that weapon to be so powerful." Bioshock complimented its partner, lowering its face over the table, smiling broadly, boishly."
"Oh you!", HL2 blushed. "It wasn't that great."
"Oh yes it was. What, don't you remember how mere months after you came out, that Doom 3 expanshion copied you. Come on, a Doom game copying a Half life? That's gotta mean something, right? "
"You're really just saying that. How about your great game twist, and that fascinating progressive gameplay of yours. Upgrading weapons smart, abilities and that Adam thing you had."
It was now time for Bioshock to blush, the fumes of alcohol already rising to its head as the evening progressed.
HL 2 carried on. "Still, that thing with the recordings…" it grimaced. "You know you could've handled that much more interestingly, right? "
"Yeah…well, bad genre cliches die hard. But still, at least they were interesting, right? "
"Mmm, more or less. Good effort though, but, really, don't let it sound like it makes you any less of a game. You were so fascinating, I swear!"
The toasted again, to their new relationship, and carried on with small talk.

A tall, slim figure walked by their table and suddently turned around and looked at them.
"Hey…you're Bioshock…and you're Half Life 2!", it bellowed at them, with no effort to hide its enthusiasm. "I love your work guys."
Bioshock got up to escort their guest away from the table, but got its hand shook rather energetically instead.
"I'm Resistance…you know, Fall of man, you may have heard of me. I'm a great fan of both of you…and I really wish I would've had your ideas mister, when I came out."
It pulled up a chair and ordered himself a Number 5 from the passing waiter.
"Excuse me, but we're having a conversation here. I don't remember inviting you here lad."
But Resistance really wasn't listening, lost in its fascination. It even signaled to another patron.
"Time Shift, come here a bit! Look who it is…Half Life 2 and Bioshock! Ain't it great? "
Another game came at the table, pulling another chair, forcing the initial two to move a bit to the sides.
"I love you guys! But you know, there are some things that really you should've done differently." It nodded in alcohol infused wisdom. "Yeap, you could've done with some time altering mechanic, the both of you. It's all the rage, and I don't care what annyone thinks. Just ask TimeSplitters over there, he's an old foggey too. But still hot you know."
Resistance felt the need to jump in, after two shots of him own Number 5.
"And less color guys. Come on, I know you're both classics and all, but do you really want to be considered so gay now? " It shook the glass at them, in trembling hands. "Yeah, green and blue and yellow and stuff. I say you can do well enough with gray, brown and red. Less is more, everyone knows that. And also…", leaning conspiratively over the table, "it's how it's supposed to be these days. Color is out, no one wants color anymore."

Bioshock felt hiself getting really aggravated but was tempered by Half Life 2's hand on his own. They sipped another glass and ordered a second and third bottle. The two uninvited guests started arguing amongst themselves, so there really was no point in trying to escape them. They watched with amused interest as they apprently reached a conclusion on what System Shock 2 had done right in the past, apparently confusing it with Halo, whom was not permited access to pubs. It had the very annoying habbit of convincing everyone that a two weapon load out was a good idea.
As they neared the bottom of the second bottle, giggling to one another, and to the two young ones, another figure came and sat at their table. Scruffy and mean looking, it growled at the waiter for a glass of whiskey. It took in the scene at the table, and watched as everyone calmed down.
"Bioschlock, you cod. Nasty habbit with those recording you know.", alcohol fumes were coming in dense from him, even for the already inebriated pairs at the table.
"Yes yes Doom 3, I KNOW! No reason to keep rubbing it in my face. Everyone did it!"
"Not in my time they didn't. Not first person shooters you know." Doom 3 was leaning hard on the chair. "You know what else annoys me? In all of you losers? You wouldn't know a good monster design if it bit you on the nose. Sand lions? Bah! Lumbering diving suits? Bah again! Six eyed fanged creatures? Lame! And you…what do you have? Yellow helmets on soldiers? Stupid!"
Time shift defended himself, almost laughing. "That's HAZE! He's over there, go annoy him!"
"Been there. You dorks should really learn how to do some monster designs, to be at least gruesome. Uuuu…look at me, I have such a good story, I'm so interesting. But I only have humans with weird masks on them that fart fire…uuuu."

Needless to say, the disputes continued well into the night. Bottles were drank, words were thrown, and they left together as the bar closed at 3 in the morning. Going out, they met Dark Sector that flashed them his designs from under a very large overcoat, that tried to get away, feeling very out of place. It got taken by the scruff of the neck and dragged along to a hotel camera, close by.

The morning sun came soothing into the room. On the single, rather used double bed, Half Life 2 woke up alone. It lumbered into the bathroom where it found Halo asleep under the shower…where did he come from?
As it surveyed herself and the room…it dawned on Haf Life 2…

And that's the tale of how Singularity was born.

Final Grade: 7,5
[Imagine: 14wyiz6.jpg]

Pentru intrebari sau orice alte interactiuni cu mine, folositi cu incredere mesajele de profil. Contrar opiniei populare eu nu chiar daca as musca, am toate vaccinurile facute.

Am 2 obiectii la review:limba engleza si lipsa gameplay-ului .Probabil ai jucat jocul si ti-a placut de aceea ai facut descrierea dar, tot ce ai scris mai sus pare un copy paste urias.A doua obiectie nu am gasit nimic de gameplay la cum arata imaginea la joc si povestire banuiesc ca este un shooter.Nu sunt expert in gaming dar am citit multe review-uri si contin de obicei informatii detaliate despre joc, ce ai scris tu pare mai degraba o mica povestire haioasa cu ce se aseamana jocul.(daca am gresit cu ceva va rog sa imi da-ti pmZuppy03)
[Imagine: tumblr_mx788wBv4z1t2mzddo1_500.gif]

Daca ai jucat toate jocurile de acolo si esti un pic atent la ce zic acolo, ai sa intelegi ca am zis tot ce trebuie despre gameplay in ceea ce tine de Singularity.
Si daca citesti literatura jurnalistica de gaming, ai sa gasesti ca apar asa articole destul de des. Cateodata e bine sa mai evadezi din rigiditatile unei recenzii serioase si sa dai cu ea de pamant putin.
[Imagine: 14wyiz6.jpg]

Pentru intrebari sau orice alte interactiuni cu mine, folositi cu incredere mesajele de profil. Contrar opiniei populare eu nu chiar daca as musca, am toate vaccinurile facute.

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